My Co-Parent is Dating—Can I Keep Them From Introducing Our Children Too Early?

No matter how your relationship with your co-parent ended, finding out that they’re dating again can bring up a lot of emotions. Even if there’s no jealousy, it’s normal to worry about how their relationships could affect your children and what their new partner’s relationship with your children will be like. If you’re worried about your co-parent introducing a partner too quickly, you may want to discuss your concerns with a child custody attorney.

The Law Office of Taylor B. Warner, APLC is full of advocates who are ready to fight for you and your child’s best interests. Attorney Taylor B. Warner is a California Bar Certified Family Law Specialist who is passionate about finding solutions that fit her clients’ unique needs. Call our child custody law firm at 909-466-5575 to schedule a consultation now.

California Courts Care About a Child’s Best Interests

As you decide how to approach this discussion (if you choose to have it at all), remember that California courts put the child’s best interests above everything else. Generally, courts will not step in and attempt to limit another parent’s dating life or choice to introduce their children unless they believe it puts the child in harm’s way. While it may not be ideal to introduce children to a new partner too quickly, the court generally doesn’t intervene in every small decision that may not be ideal.

However, the court may be concerned if the other parent introduces the children to a new partner with a history of violence, who abuses drugs or alcohol, who disciplines the children harshly, or who creates severe instability for the children.

The argument here isn’t, “I don’t like that my ex is dating.” It’s “This situation is affecting my children in a specific way.” It must also be backed up by evidence.

Can You Put a Waiting Period in a Parenting Plan?

While drafting a parenting plan with a child custody lawyer, parents may talk about including a waiting period when introducing new romantic partners. These agreements are generally easier to create before parents start dating and their judgment may be affected.

A parenting plan may state, for example, that neither party will introduce a new boyfriend or girlfriend until they have been together for a set period of time. A plan may also require advance notice of an introduction, prohibit overnight stays until the children have known the partner for a set period of time.

Note that terms should be clear and specific. Terms like “an appropriate amount of time” or “unsuitable partner” are vague and are likely to lead to more conflict.

When May a Judge Limit Contact?

While judges generally allow parents to do what they choose during their parenting time, there are circumstances where they will step in. If there are specific safety and welfare concerns, they may decide that it’s in the child’s best interest to limit contact. Romantic partners with a history of child abuse, domestic violence, sex offenses, violent crimes, or substance abuse may be a red flag in court.

The court may also want to limit contact if there’s evidence of the new partner mistreating the children, exposing them to criminal activity, or interfering with the co-parenting relationship.

Important Evidence

Working with an experienced child custody attorney is one way to ensure that you have the necessary evidence to prove your case and protect your children. The court won’t act just based on your claims and concerns; they will want evidence that specific safety concerns exist. Potentially useful forms of evidence (depending on the safety risk) may include:

• Text messages
• Emails
• Social media posts
• Police reports
• Restraining order documents
• Therapy records
• Photos and video footage
• Documentation of behavioral changes after visits

Can You Refuse Visitation?

Generally, you should not refuse visitation simply because you don’t like your co-parent’s new partner or believe that they are introducing the children too early. Withholding parenting time without a court order can work against you when you do eventually go back to court. If you have genuine safety concerns, you should work with a child custody lawyer to request an emergency custody order.

Protect Your Children With Our Child Custody Law Firm

If you have safety concerns about your co-parent’s new partner, the team at the Law Office of Taylor B. Warner, APLC is here to help you navigate your concerns and explore your options. Get in touch with us online or call us at 909-466-5575 now.

Taylor Warner

Taylor has always been an advocate. Growing up the middle child with an older and a younger brother, Taylor developed a strong voice and personality and has always felt strongly about helping others. Becoming a lawyer seemed to fit Taylor’s personality and character – she is a strong leader and a bold advocate. Learn more here.