Are Your Spouse’s Political Beliefs Hurting Your Marriage?

You and your spouse’s political beliefs may differ to the point they may make a divorce more likely. Spouses who disagree politically may just see it as a difference that doesn’t impact their relationship or a political viewpoint could be seen as evidence there’s something seriously wrong with their spouse. Rancho Cucamonga divorce attorney Taylor B. Warner represents clients who divorce for many reasons, and we’ll cover how political differences can be one of them.

The Divorce Law Office of Taylor B. Warner, APLC’s Rancho Cucamonga divorce lawyers will protect your rights and work toward the best divorce outcome for you and your family. Call us today at (909) 466-5575 or complete our contact form to schedule an initial consultation so we can discuss your situation, how state laws may apply, and how we can help.

With Political Views Becoming More Identified as Personal Values, not Policy Positions, Political Disagreements are a Bigger Deal

Politics is no longer just about taxes, policies, or the government’s role in the US. It’s more about identity and values, and it’s permeating through American life, including marriage and parenting, according to Axios. They spoke with divorce attorneys in the Washington, DC, area about their experiences.

In her 35 years of practice, one Maryland lawyer has never seen politics play a role in so many divorces. She says politics is no longer about which candidate to vote for but much more personal issues like whether to send kids to public school or what to do if a child identifies as LGBTQ+.

These issues became hotter topics during the COVID-19 pandemic when vaccinations, social distancing, and masking became politicized. Since then, attorneys say it’s gotten worse. One lawyer represents a wife with more liberal views whose husband doesn’t see anything wrong with what happened at the US Capitol on January 6. Political differences have crept into every aspect of their lives, from child-rearing to where to go out for dinner.

Political views have also become an issue in child custody cases. One attorney’s client uses the other parent’s social media posts to claim they’re not fit to have custody of their child. They’re interpreted as biased against immigrants, taking extreme positions on gun rights, and spreading conspiracy theories. In another case, a parent attended so many political rallies the other said she felt abandoned.

The lawyers pointed out these relationships faced serious challenges, including poor communication. Political beliefs may not be the core reason for the divorce, but may have pushed their marriages over the edge.

How Did We Get Here?

About 30% of couples are in a relationship where political views aren’t shared. Depending on the individuals and their beliefs, watching the news together or one’s social media posts can cause anger. Conflict may arise if one person feels very deeply about an issue or a position and the other is indifferent, according to a Psychology Today article.

Open political discussions can be more difficult during times of intense political upheaval. When things are more stable, and the stakes are lower, it’s easier to relax, look for common ground, agree to disagree, and move on.

Research about relationships has shown when one partner is more politically vocal and dominant, the other spouse may agree due to deference, out of respect, or a desire to avoid arguments. Couples with a more equal power dynamic have a tougher time because one may try to influence or convert the other to their views.

How Can You Handle the Situation?

Psychology Today has several suggestions, including the following:

• Decide what’s more important, your marriage or your political views (and having a relationship with someone who shares them)? How deeply are your political positions tied to your core beliefs?
• How well do you tolerate conflict, tough conversations, and conceding some issues?
• Putting politics aside, what brought the two of you together? Political disagreements may obscure deep emotional bonds, important compatibilities, and shared interests
• Consider discussing how and why views are more important to you or how they evolved. Better understanding each other could help you stay together

A marriage counselor could be an important, neutral third party facilitating this conversation.

Contact a Rancho Cucamonga Divorce Lawyer

Political beliefs are creating sharper divides in the country, and that can include married couples. Personal differences often lead to divorce. You’ll need to decide whether your political divide is wide enough to end your marriage.

If your marriage is failing, contact the Rancho Cucamonga divorce Law Office of Taylor B. Warner, APLC.  Call us today at 909-466-5575 or use our contact form to speak with a Rancho Cucamonga divorce attorney.

Taylor Warner

Taylor has always been an advocate. Growing up the middle child with an older and a younger brother, Taylor developed a strong voice and personality and has always felt strongly about helping others. Becoming a lawyer seemed to fit Taylor’s personality and character – she is a strong leader and a bold advocate. Learn more here.