My Ex Isn’t Following Our Custody Order—Now What?

Negotiating a child custody arrangement is stressful and time-consuming, but at least it marks the end of custody-related fights—unless your ex decides to ignore your court-ordered custody schedule. Missed exchanges, late drop-offs, or unilateral decisions about your child’s education or healthcare can take away from your role as a parent and leave you feeling powerless. But in California, custody orders aren’t optional. They are legally binding, and you have options. Your first step is talking to a child custody lawyer in Rancho Cucamonga about how to assert your rights as a parent.

At the Law Office of Taylor B. Warner, APLC, we advocate aggressively for our clients as they navigate family law issues. Attorney Taylor B. Warner is a California Bar Certified Family Law Specialist, which highlights her experience with and knowledge of complex family law matters. For more than 10 years, she’s served the people of Rancho Cucamonga, developing personalized, empathetic solutions to their family law concerns. Call our child custody law firm at 909-466-5575 to learn more about your legal options.

Custody Orders in California

There are two ways that custody is generally recognized. Legal custody is a parent’s right to make decisions regarding their child’s healthcare, education, and overall wellbeing. Physical custody determines where a child spends their time and how much time they live with each parent.

When a judge issues a custody order, both parents are legally obliged to abide by its terms, whether or not they agree with the order in full. In some cases, a parent unilaterally changes what they do with regards to custody because they believe that circumstances have changed. In other cases, it’s because they believe the other parent won’t take steps to enforce the order.

Violations vary widely and may include:

• Refusing to return the child on time or at all
• Withholding visitation
• Blocking court-ordered communication on their parenting time
• Enrolling the child in a new school district without approval
• Moving and taking the child with in violation of the custody agreement
• Making major medical decisions without the other parent’s input

Regardless of the reason for your co-parent failing to honor the custody order, you have rights. A child custody attorney can help you protect them.

Document Everything

Your first step is to document everything that is happening as it happens. Don’t rely on your memory and assume you’ll remember everything when it’s important—write it down to keep your memories clear. Your log of deviations from the custody order should include:

• The date, time, and description of each incident
• Texts, phone calls, or emails related to the incident
• Witness statements from anyone who can verify what happened

Violations can pile up quickly, and without a log, you’re likely to forget how often violations happen and how your co-parent responded to them. A clear log helps you and your child custody lawyer.

Communication and Mediation as Resolution Options

In many cases, these issues can be hashed out and solved during informal negotiations or mediation. A polite but firm text or email notifying the other parent that you have noticed the violation and look forward to future compliance for the benefit of your child may be enough to get them to straighten out.

If violations continue, mediation may be your next step. Mediation brings in a neutral third party to look at both sides of the issue and encourage compromise. This is generally a less expensive and less adversarial option than going straight to court.

It’s important to note that if you’re a victim of domestic violence or harassment, these options are unlikely to work. In fact, attempting negotiation or mediation with an abuser puts you at risk of further abuse. Discuss your next steps with your child custody attorney instead.

Filing a Motion to Enforce the Order

When violations persist and your co-parent refuses to comply, the court can step in to help. You begin by filing a Request for Order (Form FL-300) and asking the judge to enforce the custody arrangement. Depending on the circumstances and what you’re requesting, the judge may order makeup parenting time to account for missed visits, payment of attorney’s fees, contempt of court charges, or modification of custody. This is where you want to have full documentation of the violations and a clear idea of what you want.

Call the Law Office of Taylor B. Warner Today

Our child custody law firm is here to help you stand up for your rights. Schedule a time to talk by calling us at 909-466-5575 or reaching out online.

Taylor Warner

Taylor has always been an advocate. Growing up the middle child with an older and a younger brother, Taylor developed a strong voice and personality and has always felt strongly about helping others. Becoming a lawyer seemed to fit Taylor’s personality and character – she is a strong leader and a bold advocate. Learn more here.